Still A Mystery (guitar based rock track)

Here's a brand new one, different from the piano based stuff I've posted here before: Still A Mystery Go 'round in circles Do what you wanna do Raise loads of questions where's the answer? Strong as a fighter Weak as a little lamb Fall like a raindrop but the ground shakes everytime you fall down Chorus: You're still a mystery yeah You lock me up, you set me free you're still a little mystery oh yeah Light like a feather Dark like a tragedy Trust you with my life yet I'm nervous Shy like a flower Glow like a blazing fire If inhibitions rule as you say your job, your ways mystify Chorus: You're still a mystery yeah You lock me up, you set me free you're still a little mystery oh yeah Wrong in a right way Calm with a panic mode Wear silk and leather Will I ever wrap my mind around you?

how many times did you sing the song, total?

you could always crank up the guitars and bury the awkwardness in a bunch of noise... then none of this would make any difference. you'd be ruining a good song, but who gives a shit about that?

"weak as a wounded lamb", for instance... everybody knows lambs are weak even if they're not wounded. i can understand the alliteration, but when the "wounded" makes for awkward phrasing, you should dump it.

maybe you should try singing "weak as a lamb" a few times. "lamb" is the main idea, here... everybody knows lambs are weak and little --not necessarily "wounded" unless you want to drag some christian bullshit into it-- and if you cant eliminate the awkwardness, it's not my problem. it's your song.

anyhow, there are minor changes to the words you could make that would make the song more accessible. the song is a good idea, the music makes sense, you're a good singer, and that's that.

sticking with the same verse, and dredging my memory, that "everytime you fall down" line rankled... not the line, but the "down". what other way you gonna fall but "down"? i mean, since there's no rhyme scheme, what difference does it make whether or not you include the "down"? the "down" word struck me, at first listening, as out-of-place... i got used to it, after three or four listenings, so maybe it's okay.

I redid the lamb line, turned out quite a lot smoother to my ear. Got any comments regarding the balance of the mix before I render the file?

there's conviction in your voice... that conviction is a belief in the song, and you've defended the song tooth and nail. i recorded lots of songs after singing them what-seemed-like a million times, maybe changing them one word at a time... the chance of improvement kept the song alive, kept my conviction alive, and i fianlly got to the final version --final because i finally gave up, and that may have been the last time i sang the song. then i made an attempt at writing jingles --commercial music for radio--- and they were lifeless... the worst is, my old songs, when i sang them, were lifeless, too. maybe that's what pushes people into live performance --an attempt to keep the songs alive, despite all the complications that go with live performance.

a good song gives the singer life, whether he wrote it or not. that's why this is a good song.